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does spiritual belief affect the outcome of bereavement?
A paper published in the BMJ of the 28 June 2002 concluded that “People who profess stronger spiritual beliefs seem to resolve their grief more rapidly and completely after the death of a close person than do people with no spiritual beliefs.”
At first sight this conclusion would appear not to be surprising as the majority of religions postulate that life continues after death in some form, and that death is in itself no more than a transition. It is therefore logical to assume that those holding such belief may consider that death is not a final and absolute loss, but that at some time in the future there may well be some form of reunion with one who has died.
This may be a factor, but this in itself does not address a number of other points. For example there may be those who whilst not holding religious beliefs have a deep sense of self awareness and inner contentment, and who may also resolve their grief more rapidly and completely than others. In addition, this does not address the issue of grief, and the grieving process.
In essence grief (following bereavement) is occasioned by the loss of a loved one, that is to say the grieving person is suffering their loss. The strength of the feeling will vary from individual to individual, and will be affected by many things, and most significantly by the closeness with the deceased.
At this point it is helpful to look at the stages of grieving, and which can generally be summarised, by the following stages (which may not progress in a linear manner):
Dislocation.
There is a sense of disbelief in the death, and a feeling of shock. There may be feelings, or a sense, that the deceased is present, or is speaking. Sleep patterns may be disrupted.
Non-acceptance.
There are strong mixed emotions, and whilst knowing that death has occurred it cannot be accepted. There can be a period of seeking to bring the person back. There may well be feelings of anger, a sense of it being the fault of the deceased.
Despair.
There is a total sense of despair, and desperation. The meaning of life, and all there is, is questioned. It feels as if it is very difficult to cope.
Moving onwards.
It becomes possible to deal with the routine matters of life without total despair. It also becomes possible to reintegrate a part of the deceased within one, and to move on with that as a strength.
In looking at spiritual belief and grief, it is relevant to look at how having such beliefs may help with the stages set out above. It is generally the case that all people (irrespective of their beliefs) will go through these stages, but what will differ will be the length, and completeness of the process.
In general terms I would suggest that having a spiritual belief will enable a person to more readily recognise, and work through each of the stages more quickly, and completely than those without. The principal reason for this may well be that such a person has developed a keen self awareness, and that there is therefore a greater ability to recognise their emotions and to deal with them in a way that is necessary for them.
As a Spiritual Healer I have worked with terminally ill clients (the paper referred to in the footnote was based on a study of the relatives or friends of terminally ill patients). In my work with the terminally ill I have noticed a few things that may be relevant to the finding of the study, as follows:
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In working with the terminally ill I have generally noticed a process within the client by which the client becomes more accepting of their condition, and at peace with themselves (irrespective of recovery or death).
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In the client being more at peace, the “burden” upon their close relatives and/or friends seems to lift.
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It is assumed that the client will die and the grieving process will usually commence some time before death.
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The relations or friends will accept Spiritual Healing also, and will share in the journey of the terminally ill client.
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There is often a sense that the terminally ill have found their “release and peace”.
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There is a period in which the client and the relatives or friends can talk about things that need to be said, whether of love or otherwise. A sense of not leaving things unsaid.
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The relatives or friends will often continue to accept Spiritual Healing for quite a period after the death.
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Support (either as in 4 above, or from others) often will assist the grieving process.
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Spiritual Healing in itself is not a religion or belief, but is about channelling energy available to all (in the universe) to the client. This energy helps to promote the body’s own healing process at all levels (body, mind, and soul), thereby bringing the body back into balance and allowing relaxation and a degree of peace and calm to be found. It may seem strange to talk in terms of bringing the body back into balance and death occurring. I would submit that this is not the case as the concept of Healing into Dying is a real and valid manner of Healing. Assisting the dying to move towards their transition at death in peace and calmness, and for their relatives to be more accepting of this, is to my mind part of the circle of life and death.
Juliusz Wodzianski
1 Spiritual beliefs may affect outcome of bereavement: prospective study by Kiri Walsh Michael King Louise Jones Adrian Tookman and Robert Blizzard (Department of Psychology and Behavioural Science, Royal Free and University College Medical School).
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